You see, there is a little monster living inside of me. It rips through my stomach and messes up my appetite, it gives me headaches, it makes me see ghosts, it says that everyone hates me. It squeezes my heart and clenches it into a ball and then people can’t find the door anymore. It eats my sleep and laughs at me when I look in mirrors. Sometimes it’s medicated and quiet. Sometimes it’s knocking on my bones. It says you could never love me. You’re right there in front of me, gripping my hands and searching my face, but I believe the little monster and not you, and I don’t know why.
I want to be enough for myself but when I think about that emptiness in my soul my eyes cloud with the image of you and remind myself how lost in you I truly am and how I wish I could find the exit sign